A very long time ago in the era 2000 I was somehow struck by the need for social commentary a la Dr. Seuss. I understand the current issues but am also one of those who say, “Don’t cancel culture, teach from it.”
So, with love and affection to someone who made words sing, though now I know some might sting, here is:
HOW THE GRINCH TAUGHT THE VC’s a LESSON
in the year 2000
Every dreamer in the valley liked riches a lot.
“dot com it” “dot com it,” that’s what is hot!
But the Grinch of dreams lurked in the bay
Saying, “Hear them all talk, but I’ll get them one day.”
The Grinch hated dreamers, and liked them to lose.
He thought, “I can make them unhappy, if I so choose”
He read 100 business plans, and said with glee:
“Why, these are as stupid as stupid can be!”
He read with a grin, “Profits will be slim or none,
There is no reality : we buy high and sell low and be done!
It’s not what we do, it’s who we know.
They shall sit on our Board and that’s what we’ll show.”
He went to the West Coast and onto Sand Hill
Where VC’s were at work and janitors were road kill.
He saw them talking on their cell phones and using their Palm.
Those objects so beloved that soothed them and acted as balm.”
He watched with awe as the prices of houses went up and up.
The people who lived there had mega size kitchens yet went out to sup.
They bought SUV‘s and SUV‘s and more SUV‘s
so they could drive and never say , “please!”
And all of the people on Sand Hill were happy, happy guys and gals
‘Cause they played games with all of their pals
Starting up dot-coms and doing IPO’s
And now in the valley of jeans and T’s, we’re wearing designer clothes.
And the Grinch was filled with glee.
This people have no idea! They had no idea what was to be!
But the Grinch soon worried and started to fret,
it looked like some of the dot-com’s were wet, wet, wet!
Then he saw that this was really very funny:
What will these people do when there is no more money.
“We’re not worried,” they said so smug.
“The end was part of the plan”, they added with a shrug.”
But people were beginnning to ask
“Just what does this company do? What is its task?”
“You named it fookaddoka.com; oh what ‘s in a name?
I thought and I thought and it sounds like a game.”
The Grinch saw the people needed help and quick:
Their stocks were all dead, the companies so promising; now sick.
All was now understood:
Alas, the VC’s had done no good.
And the Grinch was now satisfied. He knew the lesson they learned
That profits must be earned.
And so, dear VC’s the Grinch urges you and you and you!
to come off the hill and meet with those of us who’d like to earn a sou.
Yes, we’d like to earn a sou or a dollar or a yen,
We’ve got ideas and talent and use them again and again.
But we don’t want pre-IPO and we don’t need a Board or a fancy name
Just some help, ’cause life is hard work, that’s the name of the game
But we’ll give you profits! Yes, we’ll try and make money.
Stop laughing, this isn’t *that* funny.
It’s the New, New thing – a company in business to earn –
Look – sit down and have a latte, there’s a lot you need to learn.
…
